The Rosie O'Donnell Show October 20, 1999

Tori appeared on the Rosie O'Donnell Show on Wednesday, October 20, 1999. She performed 1000 Oceans solo at the piano (the band was not there) and then had a relatively long talk with Rosie. Rosie prompted her to tell the famous Phil Collins story, but seemed surprised that drugs were involved. Look below for photos from the show and more details about it, including a transcript kindly typed out by Toriphile Lucinda Uckele. While Tori was singing, there were 2 big screens to the right of her that were showing the 1000 Oceans video.

Read a complete transcript of Tori and Rosie's conversation.

Click on thumbnail to see a larger image.

Thanks to Lucinda Uckele for taking the time to type this out for us!

Tori was on the last segment of the "Rosie" show. This transcript is definitely worth taking the time to read!!! Both Tori and Rosie were really comical and had a really great "chat". Rosie asked Tori about the time she got arrested and the story is hilarious! Rosie made it even funnier with her typical wisecracks and awesome sense of humor!!!

First Tori played 1000 Oceans. No band, just her and her piano. The video for this song was being playing in the background as Tori performed...she played as beautifully as she always does! The camera crew did a great job filming her play this song. Several times they showed close ups of Tori's face while she was singing; and at the same time showed a separate close-up of her fingers playing the keys.

After Tori was finished, Rosie came up to her, bent down and kissed her on the cheek, and asked who taped the video.

The following is the transcript of they're conversation. (I think I got everything ver-batum, it's damn close at least) R: Back with the one and only Tori Amos, "To Venus
and Back" is the CD. One is new songs and the second
is.. all old live songs? (Looks at Tori)

T: "Yeah". (in adorable little kid voice)

R: Which is great, I love it! How'd u come up with the
name, "To Venus and Back"?

T: Umm...I was having a really good bottle of
"Corteaun Charlemaine" (not sure of spelling) with two
of my girlfriends.

R: What exactly is "Shortone Carlemain" (in a joking
voice and botched the pronunciation)

T: "Corteaun Charlemaine", it's a really good wine.

R: Is it white or red?

T: It's white.

R: White. Corteaun Charlemaine.

T: Yeah. It's very good.

R: "Somebody write that down for me!!!!" (humorous)

T: It's good.

R: I usually order Martini + Rossi Asti Spumanti...

T: Fair enough... (w/ amused smile and hand up in the
air)

R: Is it similar at all??

T: ...... "Nope". (cute voice)

R: It's not! Okay, so you were drinkin' wine....

T: Yeah, with my girlfriends...

R: Yeah?

T: And I came up with the "to and back" bit...And they
came up with the "Venus" part. And one of them said,
"you'd go to venus if you could". And I said "yeah,
wherever that is, I'd definitely go there, yeah."

R: Right...and back home?

T: ...and back, yeah.

R: Yeah. People often are struck by the lyrics that
you write...they are so poetic and people try to
decipher them and find out what they mean! Do you
find that enjoyable.....that people are sitting down
trying to dissect what the meaning is?

T: Ummm....(laughs)....Well.....I think sometimes
people come up to me and say, "you know, you have no
idea what this song is about." And I'm like, "fair
enough". you know,... "you have your own take on
it"...I'm open to that.

R: Right. See, I think that too! I mean, with your
first record, when I was listening to it, I felt like
I was your best friend........ I'm like..."I know
exaaactly what she means heeere!!! (hitting her palm
on the table)... "I know exaaaactly what"... in FACT,
I've told you this in private...I 've used your lyrics
in THERAPY!!!

T:(smiles)....That's good.......So have I.

R:Really!?! (they both laugh, Rosie really cracks up)
When the shrink goes, "What are you feeling?" I go,
"you know that song 'Cornflake Girl'?....."Thought it
was a great solution hangin' withu raisin girls?!"
(Tori chuckles)

R:The therapist is like, "What!?!" "Give me $800.00
and get outta here!"...You know... but it's very
helpful!
You always did poetry before you were even a singer,
is that true?

T:Umm... actually, NO.

R: It's not true!?!

T: Umm... actually no, I mean the music always came
first...then the words, sort of....I have to hunt them
down. Its uhhh...some people think I make absolutely
no sense at all so (kind of laughing) whatever. (hand
up, like "oh well")

R:No. To me it makes a lot of sense. I hear you almost
got arrested!

T: Oh,.... I did get arrested.

R: You did!!?!! Way to go Tor-reee!!! (they high five
each other) What happened, What'd you do?!

T: Well, I was in Germany...this was a few years ago.

R: Oh! I thought is was recently!

T: No. No-no-no-no. This was yeeeaars ago...

R: Ohh, well, then do tell!

T: in my twenties.

R: In your youth!!...go ahead!!

T: Well, I was at the border, with, umm, one of my
friends and we had just come from... (Rosie
interrupts)

R: Did you have any Corton Chea - tauntau ??( joking
about the wine name again)

T: No. We would have been OKAY if we would have.
See....we had OTHER stuff,..'cause we had been in
AMSTERDAM... (Tori turns around and faces the audience
to the left and repeats)..."LOOK, we'd been in
Aaamsterdaam".

R:(in comedic voice) "IX-NAY ON THE OTT-PAAY"..."GO
AHEAD!"

T: That's what you do.

R: "Ahh,ahhh, ahhh,"(trying to stop her from saying
anything about pot - but in a funny way)...."so you
were in Germany........"

T: We were in Germany and Amy put some pot in her
boot.

R: Ahhhh, bah, bah (trying to stop her again -
humerous) "Amy is....should not be doing that!!!!"
( Rosie was amused you could tell but she had to play
it cool w/cameras I because it's more of a family
oriented show, I guess)

T: No. Check this out... so,

(Rosie is looking at camera like "oh shit, she's
going to continue anyway, here she goes" -- audience
was laughing)

T: we come back over the Ochen border right, (not sure
of spelling, sounds like "ock-ken") "we're at the
Ochen border and...

R: Did you ever see "Midnight Express?"

T: Yeah, yesss. (like as if to say - of course I did)

R: What were you thinking?!?!?

T: But..( and then kind of mumbles "i know, i know")
well, I didn't have any in MY BOOT. And I was
going to Amy, "Amy, really, chuck it out at the
Belgian border". You know....the Belgian "Fryes" ..
it's fine, they're better...they're nicer.

R: Ohh, Sure!!!! (humerous)

T: So we were fine in Belgium...then we get to Ochen,
and I said, "I don't feel goood about this Amy", and
she said, "you know you are such a worry wart." Which
I am.... I'm a worry wart. (soft girlish voice)

R: (totally humerous) You know, You're crazy!! -
You're upset about bringing drugs over an
International Border!!!! (Tori laughs)

R: I mean, SOME PEOPLE ARE NUTS LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!!
They WORRY!!.... other people ...."OHHH..give me the
COKE, I'm trottin' over to ISRAEL!!!!!!!!" you
know, whatever! (this was so funny - Rosie is a piss!
The audience was losing it, and of course Tori laughed
too!)

R: So the police sniffed it out?!?

T: The dogs...the WHOLE thing....on the caarrr
(dragging out words like to say it was a real scene!)
it was one of those little tiny
datsuns...so..(stops)...ORANGE....you know..so they
had us....they hauled us in,....MY
GOD.....EVREEETHIIING.
They had us....we were searched...you know the haan
(stops)....glove up EVREEETHI-I-I-ING.

R: AHHHCH! IP!IP! (stops her and gives her hand
signal she understands - enough said!) (audience is
really laughing)

T: Yhea. (shaking head like- this is what happened
alright)

R: And how did you get out of it?

T: Well they wanted to pump my stomach ( says it
like "stommick" - "Tori-ish" accent there- very cute
and sweet sounding)

R: 'Cause they thought you had swallowed the
GOODS?!?

T: YEAH. So they pumped my...they were about to
pump my stomach and he goes, "VAT DO YOU DOO." (German
accent) and I said (reluctant voice) "Well, I sing...
a bit".. and he said. "WELL WHERE DO YOU SINNGG?",
and I said, ...I thought about it and he had a tape,
one of those cassette tapes of Phil Collins (Collins
said with a unique "Tori" accent)....this was in 1990
when this happened, so I just kind of looked, and umm,
I said well...I actually did a CD with Phil Collins.

R: and had you?

T: Well, see...this is the bit.
I hadn't, but they...Atlantic had included me on
a sampler when he'd done "Buster"...

R: Ohh.

T: you know, to try and break me during my rock
chick years?

R: Yeah, yeah.

T: So they included one of my songs on the Phil
Collins sampler. So in truth.....

R: You were'nt "ACTUALLY" lying.

T: I WASN'T. I WAS INCLUDED IN HIS SAAAMPLER. I
did a thing on his CD. (this was sooo cute- with
major Tori accent going on - she said like to say -
"really I did, you gotta believe me")

R: So did you break out into a couple bars of
"Pseu-pseudio" or something?!?

T: No..they took, they took the pen light and when
IN to my pupils- UP against the WALL and said "say it
again" and I said (imititating being nervous and up
against a wall) "I was on a CD with Phil Collins"
(scared voice), and he goes..."you're not lying", and
I said "huh, uhh." (meaning no) and they let me....
they didn't pump my STOMACH.

R: And they let you go!?! Well that'll teach you a
good lesson. Don't bring drugs over any borders,
alright Tori?!

T: No. NO. (laughing and totally amused with
herself) "End up on a Phil Collins sampler...you'll be
alright." (still laughing )

R: Ohh! There you go!! Everyone takes the moral a
different way!.....TORI! You're delightful as always,
athough the drug stories we could do without!!!
(humorous)....But still "To Venus and Back" is the CD,
go buy it!"

That was it, then they went to commercial.

Commentary On The Show

From sparkboy

October 20, 1999 - Tori played 1000 Oceans solo at her Bosey. The large screens in the studio were playing the video as Tori was playing. The setup was much the same as when she played Northern Lad on Rosie last year.

After Tori finished playing the lights came up and Rosie hugged Tori and kissed her on the cheek, saying that the video was beautiful.

After a commercial break they talked some more, first about the naming of the double album (stock story) and then about Tori's arrest. This was the Phil Collins story from 1990, and Rosie was a bit unprepared for the content. Last time Tori was on she had to edit the line "gets so fucking cold" because of the family nature of the show. However this time she talked about smuggling pot through Europe! The look on Rosie's face was priceless. Rosie said the moral of the story was not to take drugs across international borders, but Tori said the moral was that if you're a musician be sure to be on a CD with Phil Collins.

A very nice appearance.

Please give me feedback, comments, or suggestions about my site. Email me (Michael Whitehead) at mikewhy@iglou.com